Top Ten Reasons NOT to go to Branson, Missouri
10. If you hate bumper to bumper traffic, it will confirm your disdain for this town.
9. Just because it is “all you can eat” doesn’t mean you should.
8. To park around the back of your hotel means the parking lot will be 200 feet lower than the front.
7. Every other restaurant has the “Best Steak in Town”.
6. Every famous entertainer I have never heard of calls this place home.
5. If Jesus were still alive, he would laugh. Like his entire motherf**king ass off.
4. If you are SO famous for chicken, why would you have an “all you can eat” crab leg and lobster buffet?
3. Don’t bother asking anyone for directions. Every f**king body isn’t from here.
2. Did I already mention how much I hate this godd*mn town?
1. Went to try to “Ride the Ducks” while listening to a band called Drowning Pool. (Too soon? LMAO 😂)